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  • Writer's pictureKali Kuzma

Ghost Writer Versus Ghost Writer: Round 2


Seeing a Ghost(Writer)

Last year, we pitted two ghost writers against each other to see how well they would do when given a prompt. I had a blast seeing what kind of stories I would receive and decided to make it an ongoing series.


So, we're back with our second round of ghost writers going head-to-head. Will the service they provide be up to par?


Again, I hit up Fiverr.com to find my two writers. I went about it a little differently than the last time. After searching for ghost writers, I filtered the results by the lowest paid gigs and ultimately picked two writers who dabble in thriller, suspense and horror. Instead of giving them a prompt, they were told to write anything horror using 500 words, plus a title.


For me, I find leaving it open ended to be a little more difficult than the last prompt in which there were more restrictions but a bigger word count to write in. Once the stories started coming in, I found the low dollar pay could be seen in the writing. For this reason, I did follow up with one more revision and asked them for an editing check. Here's what I received along with my experience and thoughts on the stories.

 

Ghost Writer #1

The Dark Road


Liz and Mary, two close friends, were driving back home in silence. They had attended a night party thrown by one of their friends. During the party, Liz made a joke about Mary's snoring habit in sleep, prompting their friends to tease and make fun of her. Marry didn't appreciate the humor, and after a while, they decided to leave. The car ride home, now charged with tension, felt like a quiet storm as they navigated the dark, empty roads.


It was approaching midnight. Liz sensed Mary's growing anger and mustered the courage to apologize, hoping to mend things. However, it only seemed to fuel Mary's frustration. Tensions peaked when Liz, in desperation, asked Mary to stop the car. The tires screeched as Mary slammed on the brakes. Liz stepped out, and the car disappeared into the night.


Now, with Mary gone, Liz found herself alone on the dark, empty road, surrounded only by trees, with no signs of life around. Liz took her phone from her purse, intending to book a ride, but unfortunately, there were no signals. She walked a bit forward in an attempt to find a signal, but to no avail. Worry crept in; tears welled up in her eyes. Regret settled in—she shouldn't have left Mary's car. What would she do now?  With a deep breath and a wipe of her tears, and continued moving forward.

Liz was already a bit scared. After a few minutes, she felt a presence behind her. She stopped and turned around, but found nothing but the same empty road. She started walking again, a bit faster this time, uneasy about the place. Then, she heard a cat's horrible screams from behind. Panic set in, and she ran without looking back.

A few meters away, she saw a cat's lifeless body on the side of the road. The sight was horrific, with the cat's eyes wide open but lifeless. It seemed as if something had brutally torn it apart, exposing every part of the animal. There was an unsettling amount of blood, with strange scratch marks leading away from the body. Liz, now more than scared, tears streaming down her face, couldn't shake off the dreadful image.


Then, she heard a horrible groan from the side of the forest, sending shivers down every fiber of her being. Fear gripped her, and she trembled, desperately trying to find a signal on her phone to call for help. As she strained to focus, a rustling of leaves emanated from the same side, as if something was moving there. The phone slipped from her trembling hands.


With shaky determination, Liz reached for her phone, eyes fixed on the area where she sensed a presence. There, she caught a glimpse of a dark figure with its golden, shiny eyes and white pupils. Its nails scraped a grotesque mark on the tree right before her eyes. The darkness obscured the figure, making it hard to see clearly, but its eyes told a story far from human. It was something beyond understanding.

Liz stood frozen in the middle of the road, as if her mind had ceased to function. The humanoid figure groaned again, sending a strange chill down her spine, and Liz snapped back to her senses with an immediate shock. Her hands went cold, and her stomach churned at the unsettling sight.


The figure moved a bit in her direction, and Liz took a step back. Suddenly, the figure sprinted towards her, and Liz, realizing the danger, ran as fast as she could. She screamed loudly with her eyes closed, as if hoping to wake up from a dream, where everything would be okay back in her room.


Then, she collided with something large on the road. The next moment, she opened her eyes in the back seat of a car. At first, panic surged through her, but as she focused, she saw her friend Marry driving. Liz breathed a sigh of relief, grateful to see her friend. She asked Marry what she was doing there.


Marry apologized, realizing she shouldn't have left Liz alone in the middle of the night. She explained that she tried calling Liz but received no answer, so she got worried and went back to find her. That's when she saw Liz suddenly run in front of her car. Marry pushed the brakes in time but Liz fainted on the road out of fear.

Thankful that her friend arrived in time, Liz apologized for her previous actions. In silence, they both headed back home. Liz never shared the story of that dark night, wanting to forget the incident and feeling grateful that she was safe from whatever that thing was.

 
My Thoughts

What do you think of this first story?


I personally found the writing subpar. English may not be the person's first language which may be cause for this. The story itself isn't bad but with it being a horror story, I would like to have it be more suspenseful. The total word count came out to be 782 words which is much more than what was asked for. This does create for a good customer service experience as I got more words than I had hoped, but with adding more words I would think the story would be better.


The ghost writer themselves were super nice and easy to work with. They sent the story in on time, made the revisions I requested, and replied in a timely manner.


Overall, I would use this ghost writer for the ideas they would come up with but not their writing style.

 

Ghost Writer #2

The cold night

I am a writer and an author and some days I get writer's block. This particular day I was writing a novel about a person stuck in the time loop but when I reached the climax I could not write anymore and felt as if my mind was clouded and no more ideas were coming to my brain. I decided to take a walk and since it was cold I wore my puffer jacket and walked out the door. The night was foggy and the temperature was cold enough to send shivers down my spine. Not a single person was in sight and I was all by myself. Walking on the lone road I found myself closer to a park. The swings tempted me to take a little swing. I sat on a bar swing and started swinging. It was a joyous moment for me and as the swing slowed down I started to drift to sleep. As I was in the middle of drowsing off I felt a person walk into the park and walk towards the swing. The person walked towards me and stood a few steps away from me. He was dressed in winter attire and a balaclava. I called out to him and asked him who he was and what does he want but he kept looking at me. I could feel his cold stare even from a distance. He walked closer to me and must have noticed my panic, he bent down and whispered into my ear “Don’t panic”. I wondered why the person said this to me when I noticed him take off his balaclava and to my horror it was me. I was looking at myself. Suddenly the scene changed and I was still taking a walk when I saw a park when I entered the park I saw a person sitting on a bar swing and it seemed like he was freezing. His hands were barely moving and he was glued to the swing. I walked closer to him and stopped a few steps away trying to figure out if he was alive or dead. I realized that he was alive and I walked closer to him. The man was covered in snow and I felt as if he panicked when he saw me, he came closer to me and whispered into my ear “Don’t panic” the man raised his head to see me, I was fully covered and wearing a balaclava. He was wearing one too and as I slid off the balaclava from his face, then to my horror it was me. I realized that I was stuck in a time loop.

All of a sudden I felt something touching my shoulder and with a jerk I woke up. I looked around and realized that I was all alone in the park and a heavy snowstorm was going on. I hurried and walked out of the park when I noticed a person standing on the corner of the park just staring at me. His face was also covered with a winter mask but I could sense a strange aura from him.

 
My Thoughts

I have one word for this story... yikes!


Even though potentially a cool concept, this story is a mess. From the title not being capitalized, to the long run on sentences, to the poor word choices, this story felt as if an AI wrote it. The overall story was 524 words, but most likely could have been 200 with all the repeated nonsense. Even though I asked for this story to be edited, it didn't seem like it was the second time around.


As for the ghost writer, they communicated at a fast rate, but still needed an extension after given three days to write the story. For a story this bad, I would have thought they wrote in mere minutes. But for the price I paid, I'm honestly shocked it's not worse.


Overall, I would not use this ghost writer if I needed something written for me.

 
Final Thoughts

Even though both stories weren't great, I think there is a clear winner when it comes to this ghost writer versus ghost writer face off.


What kind of story would you have written given the requirements? Have you had experiences with ghost writers- if so, how did they turn out?


Let me know in the comments below! If you are looking to find some great writing prompts to get your creativity flowing check out 45 Writing Prompts for Basic, Intermediate, and Advanced Writers for only $8.99!




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